Thursday, February 24, 2011


It scares me that Ruby isn't self-sufficient. Or that I can't provide for her without help.

It scares me that she would not survive without her medication.

What if we had a natural disaster and all of her meds were lost?

What if Ruby and I are kidnapped? She would cry and cry and starve. 

What if there was some kind of massive evacuation and they only took people with no medical problems?

What if we got lost in the bush? I can't even breastfeed her and deal with the consequences of not having her Creon. 

Very unreal circumstances I know, so why do I worry about it so much?

Pancreatic Insufficient is the technical term.


Anonymous said...

You are not alone in having these fears, all mothers have them, some greater than others. I dont know how you stop worry about them, dont think you can really because thats what mums do. Just remind yourself that they are pretty unrealistic circumstances and keep strong. Wish I could make it all better for you. Mum

Danni said...

Thanks mum. You do make it better :)

Anonymous said...

What if? What if I was still in Christchurch early this week? the question has shattered me all week... the fact is I wasn't, but I could've been. Thank God though we are here instead....

So many things can go wrong, so many things could fall apart...we all worry, about real things and about awful things that will probably never happen. And when awful things do happen we become strong and resilient and we manage incredibly well...

Thats what makes us great Mums, what makes us appreciate the amazingness of our kids and our loved ones. Worry drives us to make it better, to protect, support and be there.... it and other things makes us value what we have. You are a perfectly normal, amazing Mum with 2 perfect little girls, you say it like it is.... let's cross those bridges if we come to them, let's all ride the waves of parenthood together. You are not alone Danni, we are all here, we all understand, we all worry. Much Love, Shirl xx

Anonymous said...

You worry because you are a Mother. A caring, loving and very sane Mother who will do anything for your children. Ruby is so beautiful, content and happy - all becaus...e of you! I love your blogs and your raw honesty xx


Danni said...

Thanks everyone for making me feel more "normal"! See, if us mums just shared our thoughts more, we would all realise that we often shae the same hopes and worries.

Oh Gorgeous Baby said...

I had lots of thoughts about what may go wrong when Airlie was premmie and probably for at least the first 2 year or so.

Erin said...

All these what if's????? So nice to have someone who has the same fears no matter how unreal they may become. I'm constantly mad at the fact that until Hudson's day of diagnosis I managed to have 3 perfecty routined in every way shape and form babies and lil people. I can deal with the fact that Hudson's life is 'managed' by more than just I and his daddy. And there is no choice in that. I dont like being TOLD but if I dont listen, its his life on the line and its in more than just 'my hands'