Sunday, December 19, 2010

A Few Memories

I remember being in the special care nursery at Gosford hospital, thinking everything would be ok once Ruby did her first poo.

I remember noticing in NICU how long some of the babies had been there for. Months and months, and they weren't even premmies.

I remember the glass cupboard in the tea room full of books like: So Your Baby Has A Disability, Living With Multiple Sclerosis, Understanding Cystic Fibrosis. I remember being glad that I wouldn't have to worry about anything like that.

I remember wondering why the nurses hands weren't sore, dry and red raw from the antibacterial soap that had to be constantly used.

I remember Craig & I walking Ruby to the operating theatre. I was so scared but I didn't want Ruby to see me cry so I just smiled stupidly at her and told her how much she was loved. I remember wondering if it would be the last time I would see her alive.

I remember relief warming me when the surgeon told us how well the surgery went. I remember fear chilling me when he then told us there was a 90% chance that Ruby had Cystic Fibrosis. I remember confusing CF with Spina Bifida.

I remember the first time Ruby smiled. It was as we were leaving Grace Ward to go home and it was a proper smile, not gas! Good timing bubba! She hasn't stopped smiling since.

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